Now this is something both unbelievable and concerning at the same time. Tesco’s dog food suddenly explodes prompting an angry customer to come up with a clever complaint. Jokes apart, this is serious.
Dave Crissell is a 31 year old Tesco customer residing in Ipswich, Suffolk and he owns seven dogs. One day, however, things shot up the roof (literally) when he woke up to find this in his kitchen. According to Dave, a tin of Tesco’s dog food apparently exploded in his kitchen and the contents were covering the walls, the ceiling and the floor. Now this may sound hilarious, but it really concerns me how dog food, which was in a can, randomly exploded. What could it do to our dogs? Our furry children?
Dave, who had to repaint his ceiling, said, “I thought I heard something downstairs and my other half went to have a look and immediately said ‘You have to come downstairs, you’ll never believe this’.The place was filthy and who knows how it happened? It’s not like it had been sat in the sun or anything like that. I was just bemused more than angry because I’ve never seen anything like that before. I managed to clean up the dog food but I had to repaint the wall a bit and I think I’ve messed it up now. I know Tesco have been getting hammered this week for banning Ribena so I thought it was a bit harsh to just yell at someone on the other end of a computer so I thought I’d do something more light-hearted.“
How are you this morning? I’m good, thanks. Well, actually, I’m not. Let me tell you why. Read on…
I awoke this morning to find that a can of Tesco dog food had made a successful attempt at freedom from its oppressive metal incarceration. The escape attempt was cleverly planned; the dog food had clearly computed the optimum escape velocity in which to break free from its aluminium torment…but the thing is Tesco, it got it a bit wrong. To quote Michael Caine, it was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
I get that dog food wants to live wild and free, to frolic amongst the chew toys and dentastix in your pet isle. Wouldn’t you? Maybe not. Either way, blow the doors off it did, Tesco. And then some. In fact, it kept going, ever upwards, until it hit the ceiling in what appears to be a mighty splat. Now, I know this is unusual behaviour for dog food, Tesco. Very unusual indeed. I checked with our cats, just in case they rigged the can in a hilarious feline jape, aimed at scaring the dogs.
They have assured me it wasn’t them, and that guerilla warfare against the mutts of the house isn’t really their thing. I’ve also checked the can to make sure the label doesn’t say you can use it as an improvised meat-mortar. Luckily, I can find no such reference to this. So Tesco, as you can see from the images, I now have a ceiling covered in dog food that I can’t get off without ruining the paint, and an expensive piece of furniture which will be forever marked with the circular evidence of the marrowbone breakout.
Which is a shame, as I quite liked them both, but now they’re sort of….smelly, too. Real smelly. Anyway Tesco, I think you get the picture. Just in case you don’t, I’ve attached a few more pictures so you can really get in to the moment. You’ll just have to trust me on the smell though. So, dearest Tesco, finest providers of all manner of goods, services and accoutrements, what happens next?
Covered in dog food, Dave.
Oh my, I’m sorry the dog food you recently purchased had a mind of it’s own and exploded onto the ceiling! I appreciate this is very unusual behaviour for a product like this. The time and effort that must have gone into planning such an elaborate escape is really quite impressive.
I’m pleased the dogs weren’t an accessory to the great escape, I don’t think they would have coped very well in prison. Rest assured this isn’t the usual behaviour for this kind of product! I’ll ensure this is fed back to our suppliers so they can take the appropriate measures to prevent such an elaborate escape in future.
Dave will be sending back to the dog food tin to Tesco to investigate how this happened. Meanwhile a Tesco spokesperson said: “We appreciate the effort Dave put into contacting our customer service team; they’ve asked him to return the product to us to assist our investigation with the manufacturer.“
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